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Sun, Apr. 8th, 2007, 11:10 pm

I just dont know what to wright, she said to herself.
Her head leaning on her right hand. Her left hand playing with the pencil.
I just don't know. so she kept repeating.  Maybe there's like to many preassure.
Cause for the past 3 years she has only written about one perticulair thing.
This guy. And she keeps thinking ' all the pain is worth it.. If only i could lay down in your
arms.. If only i would feel your breath on my skin.. If only you would kiss me on my cheek
which would be perfectly continued by shivers down her cheek & neck..  If only i.. '


She looks up.
Confused and distracted. I don't fucking know. and its always the same song. i start
listening to this perticulair cd, with sad songs, to get me in a bit of a depressed mood.
and i start writing. and i realize my whole hard disk is like full of shit. full of wordpad documents
about him. poetry about him. letters to him. story's about him..
Pictures of him.  I would have given him my life. (if u think about it.. there wasnt anything else left
i already have him my heart ..) I pulled you into my world and you kept running away.
You were like a little child that completely lost his way. Desperate and lonely though he's getting
all the attention a guy would need. but he's way to stuck up.. way to fucked up , to see how much i
truely cared. And he had this 'wall' around him.. he had like this wall around his heart.
all around him.. so thick and so cold that he wouldnt even feel my longing arms around his neck.

All he saw whas problems. troubled guy. all he saw whas these four walls. And he could never see me rise
Though i always saw him falling.  And he seemed so strong, You know.. like he could carry the world on his shoulder.
And he would have made mommy and daddy proud. but he whas nothing more then a troubled guy..
Got stuck on the way. Nothing more but a troubled guy. Nothing more then a fucked up mind
A troubled guy, with an amazing education.